Understanding Jonah

    Lately, I've been thinking about the story of Jonah from the Old Testament mostly because I have really felt like Jonah lately with my new calling in my ward.  When I read the story of Jonah in the past, I always wondered why Jonah, who was called to be a prophet of God, would run away.  I mean, he's a prophet.  At that point in his relationship with God I'm sure he had a clearer vision of what he's supposed to be doing and what the Lord has in mind for His people.  Yet he still ran away.

   I have pondered on why he ran away.  The scriptures say that Jonah ran away because he felt the people of Nineveh were too wicked to be preached to, but I think this was an excuse for his real reason. I'm wondering if his reason was an internal one like maybe he was scared to preach since he was slow of speech like Moses or Enoch.  Or perhaps he was afraid that he would fail at converting people?

  Without going into too much detail due to privacy, I'll share my story to try to give another meaning to the story of Jonah.  I, too, have been called of God only I'm a leader in my ward.  And I, too, was asked to do something in my calling that I really did not want to do. However, I didn't blame the task for being so troublesome.  Actually, the thought of doing this particular thing caused a lot of physical and emotional problems; I couldn't sleep well, I'm pretty sure I had a migraine due to this, and I was just angry and frustrated because it takes a lot of courage and energy for me to go through with type of action.  Not only that, my prayers became strained because of my attitude.  My coordinating leader was baffled at my behavior and comments I made to them because I was being a stick in the mud about this whole situation and just an overall punk.  At one point, they asked what was going on, and I finally admitted that I struggle with doing this particular task.  

  We decided that since I already had a number of things on my plate, that I would essentially have the option of doing this particular task along side my coordinating leader.  I was pretty relieved and thrilled about that.  After this phone conversation, I ironically showered.  I felt so relieved and stinky after having sweated and cried out my problem, that I  needed to shower.  And while I was in the shower, I had a little conversation with God that went something like this (By the way, I don't normally pray in the shower, but kind of felt like doing this at the time because I didn't want to stop to pray when I needed desperately needed to shower):

  "Neener neener.  I win.  I have the option of doing this...See I don't really have to do this...Okay, I might do this, but I was told to focus on the other things on my plate...How about we'll see how things go over the next couple of days..."

  Once my attitude kind of changed and I became more receptive to the Spirit, I think Heavenly Father found the perfect opportunity to put me in my place.  As I was getting out of the shower, a thought came to mind, "You need to do this.  I will go before your face; I will be on your right hand and on your left hand."  It was the nicest rebuking I've ever received, and I started to cry once more because of the overwhelming feeling of love.  I felt incredibly empowered at this moment in my calling because I had that clear vision of what He needed.  I knew that I could do it, and I did do this task, and it actually wasn't that horrible at all.

  I guess my point is that rather than having to suffer through things on your own or trying to run away that it's so much easier to rely on God throughout the entire process instead.  I'm pretty sure that had I been more vocal about my problems with my coordinating leader and with God, that I wouldn't have had to sit in the belly of a whale for a couple of days.

  And my other thought from this experience is that I have more respect for leaders in the Church now who have difficult tasks to do ALL the time.      

 


 

28 weeks!

     I attended a prenatal class a couple of weeks ago where we discussed the signs and symptoms of each stage of labor and then viewed a video on labor.  I, along with a few other ladies, were just asking ourselves "Why did I get pregnant?!  I don't want to push a baby out of me!!" But I know that going through the labor will be so worth it. I can't tell you how excited I am to be in the third trimester of pregnancy now!  I can't wait to meet this little guy!

   Lately, I've been trying to accomplish a number of things before he comes, so I've been reading a ton and making plans to start and finish projects like this (I love the colors this lady uses in her projects!).  I have plans to finish Atlas Shrugged (I'm having second thoughts about this book), The Three Musketeers, and Jesus the Christ, and I am super grateful for a kindle and free books so I don't have to run to the library in this yucky weather!

   Physically, I have been doing well.  They say exercise is good for your body, but I have to say that exercise is doubly good for the pregnant body!  I have never had pain in tail bone area before pregnancy, but now I know that it is extremely unpleasant to not be comfortable standing, sitting, etc..  I have visited a chiropractor twice to get adjustments and advice on what to do specifically for this pain.  So I have to do a few specific stretches, and exercise regularly.  I have found that zumba videos on Youtube to be extremely helpful so I can exercise at home (my favorites are by Hot Z Team).  I also got a resistance band to help strengthen my muscles as well.

  I don't know what it is about food cravings, but people always ask what cravings I've had lately.  I can honestly say that I haven't had too many cravings that are extreme like pickles and ice cream.  I craved peanut butter for a while.  For instance, when strawberries were on sale for Valentine's day, I made several peanut butter and strawberry sliced sandwiches, and I loved chocolate banana peanut butter shakes.  I looked forward to eating salad the other day probably because I got some grape tomatoes and San Marino salad mix which I  don't buy very often.  That salad was incredibly satisfying.  I love fruit, and I also find my two pancakes with applesauce and eggs for breakfast delicious (I got so tired of toast because that's what I ate when I had morning sickness!).

  I am in love with watching my belly move.  I know it sounds weird, but I think seeing and feeling the baby move around inside of me is incredible (I know the movements will be more intense, but for now, I'll enjoy them).  When I went and saw my midwife last time, I asked how the baby was positioned.  Apparently, he's vertical (I'm not sure if he is bottom up or down), and I'm not sure how often that changes, but I thought he was lying horizontally because one night, I could feel him stretching against both sides of my abdomen.  It was one of the strangest feelings ever.  All I know is this little guy loves to move, and I am sure he will have lots of energy once he's born.

   I have a lot of gratitude for this baby.  I know that he is coming into our lives at a perfect time, and he is loved and welcomed by our family.  My grandfather isn't doing well as he has stomach cancer that doctors can't do much help him with.  Having this expected baby has really helped my grandparents by giving them something else to think about.  My Nana talks about the sewing projects she has worked on, and I think knowing my grandpa has a great-grandbaby on the way has helped him.  This is obviously really difficult for my family and me, but it does make life feel so much sweeter and precious.  This does make me appreciate families and the doctrine of eternal families taught by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  

  Anyway, I hope all is going well for you!