39 Weeks

   This last weekend I had my baby shower!  I had a lovely group of friends who supported me, and attended my "Little Boy Blue" themed shower.  The party was darling.  My wonderful host took some pictures of me (at 38 weeks pregnant) after the shower, too. Here are a few photos:

Oh man, I feel so heavy in front sometimes!  I don't feel like I have enough space to contain my baby boy!  

I don't feel that my belly is THAT big until I look at this picture.  Change of perspective! 

I was reading a journal entry from when I was twenty weeks pregnant, and I thought it was funny that I wrote that I sometimes feel pregnant, but I don't always feel pregnant... Well, at 39 weeks, I definitely feel pregnant.

     I had written on the topic of my being overwhelmed with the idea of becoming a parent on Facebook several days ago, and I deleted that post soon after because I didn't purposely seek out confirmation that I would be a good parent, which was nice and very supportive, but rather, I just wanted my feelings to be understood/heard (ya know, all that teenage stuff we never grow out of).  I wanted to relate to others, not get a pat on the back so to speak. Becoming a parent is a huge step in life, and it feels overwhelming sometimes to make that change and have that change within a moment.  I guess this change I could best relate it to is the day I got married.  

   I had an idea of what I was getting into when I got married-- share my life with someone I loved, but I didn't know how much it would change me.  I didn't know how hard it would be to bare my soul to someone, but how relieving it would feel to do so especially to someone who feels the same way about me that I do about him.  I didn't know that I could be so frustrated with my husband at one minute, but then have the deepest feelings of love towards him the next minute.  I didn't know how good it would feel to be comfortable in silence with someone else.  I feel so blessed to have had these last five--almost six years--of marriage to learn and grow with Greg.  I can't imagine "growing up" with anyone else.  And I am glad for the chance to really get acquainted with myself and with Greg even though waiting to become a mother was difficult for me.

   I know motherhood is a new way to really learn about yourself, and will give you more opportunity to grow.  I just don't know how I will grow or react to new situations, and I guess that is the scary part.  But having the opportunity to watch and learn from so many wonderful mothers out there gives me hope.  I find myself excited to see myself grow and stretch into a *hopefully* better person, and I find myself ready to watch and learn how my husband grows, too.            

   So anyway, I'm sorry for the confusion at my writing the other day, and again, I truly do appreciate your support and love... I just felt slightly embarrassed by all of the attention.  

  

  Also, I wanted to include a picture of Greg from five years ago exactly.  Here he is playing Star Craft in a labor and delivery room while our good friend was in the early stages of active labor...  You gotta show your support the best way you can, right??  And Greg was kind enough to play some songs by Jack Johnson on his laptop for our friend while he was playing games with the father-to-be... I'm sure Greg will be very supportive of me while I'm in labor. 

  

38 Weeks

Huzzah!  I'm full-term now.  What a relief that I've been able to make it this far.

  I feel like my body has physically changed so much more the past couple of weeks which makes me so grateful that I have started maternity leave.  My belly is so much bigger now; I mean, I look down and all I see is my belly.  I've been sleeping well even though I now go to the bathroom 2- 3 times a night, and I am finding it more difficult to get comfortable because my pubic bone hurts so much after lying on either of my sides for a while.  I've never been a fan of sleeping on my tummy, but I just want to sleep in a different, comfortable position, and I feel so jealous that Greg can do it with ease.

  My questions of late are: when did I start drooling in my sleep and how do/did women lie on their back for several hours while they are/were in labor?!  I don't drool all the time or anything, but I've woken up occasionally with my pillow wet with drool...it feels embarrassing, but then I'm happy to know that I slept so well.  (And I'm not trying to be rude about the second question, but just from my experience of pregnancy lying on my back doesn't feel great for long.  'Course most positions don't feel great for very long...)

  Cravings: Cashew clusters from Costco, grilled cheese, watermelon, and A&W cheeseburgers.  So I guess the craving trend has pretty much been protein and fruit.  I had told a friend of mine that I really wanted some cashew clusters, and she was such a dear that she got some for me a couple of weeks ago!  I feel so loved!  The other day I had a severe headache, and all I wanted to eat was food from A&W because it sounded so good at 5 a.m. and I felt so much better the last time I had a migraine.  The last time I had a migraine, I got so hungry at one point that I asked Greg to make lunch, and he got us burgers and fries from A&W that were manna from heaven (and fortunately I felt a billion times better at this point that I didn't throw them up).

   Mothers' day this year was such a tease.  I kind of hated it.  I wasn't trying to think about myself, but I couldn't help but do so especially since I couldn't get in touch with certain people on mothers' day.  Here am I a couple of weeks away from my due date, and I don't have a baby to hold in my arms.  It just made me frustrated and more anxious to meet this little guy.    

  Lately, I've just started to prepare for this little guy a bit more.  I have my hospital bag half-way packed, I'm working on a couple of projects, I'm reading as much as I can (1/3 of the way through The Three Musketeers), and I'm attempting to keep the house clean/organized.  The other thing I want to do is make freezer meals or at least cook a bunch of meats, prep beans, etc. for meals after the baby arrives.  I just need the motivation to do it...   
 
 

Chores and personal progress

   Doing personal progress as a leader is such a different experience than doing personal progress as a youth.  As a leader, you generally have a lot of life experience at this point, and you have already done things that personal progress helps you to do like improve talents and such.  If you have been a member for most of your life, you likely have already read The Book of Mormon or received a patriarchal blessing.  I didn't realize that personal progress has many goals of giving young women some life skills like learning how to budget, prepare meals, etc.  But even as an adult, I know that I have opportunities to improve my skill set with personal progress as a motivator.  So my value project for choice and accountability is to learn how to manage my household better.  At the end of each value project, the program asks you to record your thoughts on the experience as a whole, so I thought I'd share my experience here, since blogging or writing is another talent I would like to improve (killing two birds with one stone).    

   I know that managing a household is an umbrella of responsibilities, but I've been specifically working on regularly cleaning my house and for a way to make my life easier.  After dealing with morning sickness and fatigue for a few months, I realized that I had a difficult time regularly cleaning my house because of the way I cleaned it wasn't very efficient since I would try to fit all of the cleaning within a couple of days every couple weeks or so, but since I no longer have the energy to do that being pregnant and having a larger home to clean, I knew that I needed to change my routine.
    So I looked for ways to simplify the chores around the house, and I found that--believe it or not--that a chore chart was the best solution.  I guess each person has their own approach to doing the chores around their house because I found a number of ideas on cleaning house regularly.  But I decided after looking through some of the chore charts that my approach was to fit certain chores within a week, and not a particular day.  Since daily schedules can sometimes be hectic within themselves, I thought it would be best to manage my time weekly based off of my weekly schedule.   So I would look at my schedule for the week, and then fill in which chores I'd do on certain days.  Since I have been in my third trimester of pregnancy, splitting up all the chores over the week has rather than doing them all on one day in the week (which can be done if necessary) has been so helpful to completing them.  

   Chore Chart:

Daily:

Dishes

Clean up kitchen counters

Clear Clutter

2-3 times a week:

One load of laundry

Sweep floors

Recycling

Odd weeks of the month:

Clean bathrooms, wash bedding/towels, wipe down windows

Even weeks of the month:

Clean the floors (vacuum, sweep/mop), dust

Once a month:

Wipe down furniture and cabinets—Week 1

Microwave and fridge—Week 2

Wipe down walls, doors, and baseboards—Week 3

Clean rugs and upholstery—Week 4

    I implemented this chart mid-February, and I have to say that I haven't been as faithful to this chart as I thought I would be, but I have been SO much better about regularly cleaning certain areas of my house like the bathrooms or floors and I'll find myself saying, "Well, I have some time, so I'll clean microwave today or I'll dust this part of the house that noticed that needs it."  I definitely feel more accomplished in this part of managing my household especially since I know the last time I cleaned a certain area of my house!  (At some point, I hope to be so good about cleaning up, that I'll have a clean kitchen at the end of the night including counters being wiped down and dishes washed, but we'll get there some day...)

  

  I know that cleaning house regularly sounds like a silly accomplishment, but I love feeling more organized and just able to relax a bit more since sometimes clutter can make me antsy or unable to focus.  I also love that I am following the Lord's counsel.  I know the Lord is speaking specifically about a temple in the following scripture, but in some respects, we can model our homes after the temple:  

  "Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God (Doctrine and Covenants 88:119)."

  I like to think that I am trying to make myself a house of order (which includes a clean house) so that I can devote myself--and not feel stressed-- to having a house of learning, for instance.  I also have tried to change my attitude towards cleaning so that instead of saying, "I need to get this done," I'll try to say, "I'd like to do this, so that I can focus on doing this project."    

   We'll see how this chore chart works after I have a baby!  This chore chart gives me some hope that I can learn how to split up my duties around the house so much better now for the future.  I recognize that cleaning isn't at the top of our priorities all the time, but I recognize that I can always adjust my approach to managing my house.