The struggle of getting to know your neighbors

I struggle to fit in, and I'm starting to strongly dislike where I live.

On one hand, for the longest time I struggled to get to know my neighbors with some difficulty because I wasn't a student, I was married (I know that shouldn't make a difference, but in some cases it feels like it does), and I am not from the Middle East (a number of my neighbors still keep to their cultural customs which is nice, but if you aren't from the culture, I feel like I am unsure if I fit in).  And then I had Tycho, who opened up a whole new world for me.  I thought things would *magically* change for me in my community, but I still struggle to get to know my community.

    On one hand, I can finally meet other neighbors with kids without feeling awkward by stalking them outside on the playground.  "Hey...not to be creepy, but I saw you outside, and I just wanted to meet you." I totally did that the first summer I was here.  On the other hand, I haven't felt close enough to people to actually invite people over... "Hey so I know we just met randomly outside the other day, do you want to come over?"

   Yeah, there are community events I could attend, but let's be honest, I have not kept in contact with one single person that also attended those events.  Possibly because they are no longer living here, or possibly because they didn't show up to other events...just like me.  (I have a kid now, and the food is gross.)
 
    And then there is the other time I crashed my neighbors' Eid party a few weeks ago because I was so sick and tired of feeling like the outsider.  "Hey guys, you see me all the time out here on the playground by myself... why don't you ever invite me to join you?  Can we be friends even though we are from different backgrounds?"  Turns out the awkward situations on the playground were due to the lack of ability to speak English/Arabic.  I'm still working on the Arabic.

I still get to meet people because I watch a few of my neighbors' kids, but it is still hard.  I guess I am at that point where I care because I have few other things going on in my life like school.

I am hosting a party which even though the party hasn't even happened, the plans have gone badly.  First of all, I should have planned this a couple of weeks out, but because I wanted to get this happening sooner and before snow falls, I decided to do it like a week out. And then, the forecast predicted rain, so thought, "how about the community centre?"  That was a no go.  And there is another community event which is happening around the same time I wanted to host a party, so I thought, "hey maybe we can combine forces."  But alas, I was denied.  So many hurdles.  So I am hosting a pre-cocktail party party before the community event... sans alcohol of course.

I know I am complaining a lot here, but I just feel like giving up.

Okay, I'll admit it.  I'm lonely. I want to get to know my community, but it's been so hard.    

New food rules

I just finished reading the book, "French Kids Eat Everything", and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I was inspired by the idea of eating good food for pleasure and making eating a social event.

I've decided to change some things around my house and adapt some of the rules from this book.

1. No grazing. Make a habit of eating real food At The Table! I have found that I have been eating more junk foods and not paying attention to when I'm actually hungry. I'm thrilled to toss out the baby snack foods I bought for Tycho-- and find myself eating, too. No more cheerios. No goldfish crackers. Nada. I'm excited to not carry food with me "just jn case" when I go out for errands. Yes, Tycho will have a snack (and I probably will, too), but it'll be real food and eaten because I'm hungry. It'll also save on the food budget. Double win.

2. Eat food slowly. I've always been a fast eater. I don't know why, but it's like a food eating contest or something. I want to intentionally slow down and enjoy the food and conversation. I've been trying this lately, and I have noticed I'm fuller a lot sooner.  Awesome for weight loss!

3. Eat a wider variety of food. I've noticed for a LONG time I've been buying the same foods over and over. So boring. I'm excited to switch things up a little maybe once every couple of weeks. I'm okay making similar meals because I know the recipes, and that helps make cooking faster especially since I am working that'll be easier. Anyway, I'm excited to incorporate leeks, radishes, beets, but not okra, but I'm trying it anyway!

4. Teach Tycho to eat food, not play with it. I'm so tired of his messy his chair! As well as the messy floor around the table! Ugh.
   

Here's to new and better eating habits!  

I'm at my limit...with boundaries for this kid

Lately, I have found myself struggling with keeping my certain boundaries intact with Tycho. I find myself saying, "No, no, no!" in various forms all day, and some days I find myself tired and become casual or relaxed with some of these boundaries. Get stuff out of the cupboard? Sure... go ahead. Let me help you find something. Play with the toilet...well, if he isn't putting his hands inside of the toilet... just kidding.
 
So I ask myself two questions when it comes to Tycho playing with stuff. Is it dangerous/nasty? And on a scale of 1 to 10, how much does it bother me? If it's a 6 or higher, I tend to stop him.

For instance: toilet. Nasty. Bothersome --8. Remove troublesome child away from toilet before he attempts to flush it while I'm using it.

Dial that changes temperature on hot water heater. Taped in place. Dangerous. 10. (Why is it located in a place that kids can touch it easily??)

Pulling my books off of shelf. Not dangerous but a 9 on bothersome scale.

Pulling dishes out of cupboard. Annoyance level depends on how many dishes I have had to wash lately.

Okay maybe I go to far to ask silly questions, but do other moms get tired of saying no? What do you do? Redirect. Explain annoyance or danger?

Greg is much more rigid than I am. No touching the trash can, for instance, whereas I stop him once he sticks his hands in the trash can. I don't want to be off limits, per say, but I do want him to understand that garbage goes in the trash, not his hands. Because I believe he imitates what I am doing...sometimes. (hey he threw his own diaper away the other day...and then pulled it back out of the trash along with other trash...Progress, guys!)

Anyway, what works for you guys and how long does this get- into-everything-including-toilet-phase last for? Also, I know I shouldn't laugh or smile at Tycho as he walks away from his attempts at causing trouble, grinning--'cause he knows he's been caught--but he's so darn cute.


I'm in trouble.

I miss you still

My grandfather died a year ago today. Shortly after I learned I was pregnant, I learned my grandfather had stomach cancer. The timing was not the greatest, your might say. Each time I called, I would share news of my pregnancy while I would hear news of my grandfather's illness.  But life became more meaningful with death ever present. Tycho arrived five days after my grandfather died. It was a joyous time as well a mournful time. I couldn't share Tycho with him, but I know we all rejoiced with new, beautiful life.

I know he was still hanging on--waiting for his unborn great-grandson to be born. He inquired when I spoke to him. A part of me wishes he could have met him here on earth while a part feels like he must have had the chance to meet Tycho in Heaven before Tycho was born.

I miss his strong hands and his twinkling blue eyes. I miss his cheerful manner in which he would answer the phone when I called. Even though he was a quiet man, he could always make me laugh with one of his mischievous grins. He always asked me to talk to him with "what do you know today, Sue-Sue?" I will always remember his candy stash of black licorice or good 'n  plenty in the desk downstairs and his endless number of decks of playing cards he had on the counter in the kitchen. I'll remember his quiet presence in the kitchen with his two little dogs nearby ready to go with their master. I'll remember him taking care of his cows, and helping him feed the calves. I am so grateful I got to spend so much time with him as a child. He was so good to his family and was always there when we needed him--patiently waiting to be there for us.

I love you much, grandpa.



         

Tycho at 1 year old

I haven't been good about updating y'all on Tycho, but that's because I have been writing it down elsewhere. Also, I don't enjoy typing on a tablet and my laptop is failing miserably, so those are my poor excuses.

So Tycho at a year has been fun and challenging in new ways. He started walking about 11.5 months, and since then he's getting into everything. The water heater is right inside of our laundry room and every time I go into the laundry room, Tycho wants to follow me so he can touch the water heater or the other countless things. The other day, I realize he had changed the temperature of the water because the water was incredibly hot later on (yum warm drinking water).

Oh and now that Tycho can crawl or walk around, he follows me. Cute, eh?

He's always on the move, and when he isn't, I try to change his diaper, thinking, "oh perfect, he's still", but noooo. Sometimes he'll purposely sit down after his diaper has been removed so I can't put a new one on. Changing poopy diapers has become my least favorite task because Tycho will roll over and sit up or start grabbing his poop-covered penis, and I recently started enlisting Greg's help when I can.

He's also a sweet baby boy and will cuddle with mom and dad still. I love it.

He's interested in people and other children his size, and he'll try to play with them (I mean, get into their personal space), but he doesn't care to be held by other adults.

He loves food still. Although, he doesn't like his vegetables all the time.  He likes to put non-food items in his mouth all the time. Wood bark, dirt, stuff-I've-swept-up-into-a-pile-but-haven't-thrown-out-yet, cardboard, etc.

He has said 'mama' once in my presence when he was nine months old, and I guess he has said 'ma ma ma' to Greg when I had to work. He has been able to say 'dada', 'gaga,' 'baba', and 'Greg' which sometimes sounds like 'egg'. Right now, he's on a 'gaga' kick.   My favorite is when you ask him a qiestion, and he shales his head yes or no. Usually he shakes his head no. He can sign for "all done", and I have to say that took forever. I'm still working on getting him to sign, but it's hard being consistent and getting him to watch.      

Tycho has eight teeth. The last two teeth have come in one at a time. (Huzzah! The six previous teeth came two at a time= little sleep for me. ) I've been giving Tycho the core of an apple or pear (I get rid of seeds first) which he's likes to chew on because it's cold and sweet. He also chews and chews on his books.

He loves balls. We play pass the football/basketball all the time, and he'll play with the soccerballs the kids leave on the playground.

He also likes trying to open and close things like doors/cupboard doors or a yogurt container I gave to him to play with.

He's been interested in climbing onto stuff now that he's had lots of experience climbing steps on the playground.

So Tycho sleeps for four-hour chunks at night which is so much better than the two-hour chunks from before! Yeah I know I didn't do sleep training, and I'm missing out, but I guess that was my fault for looking into having a natural birth (which I didn't get) instead of childrearing tips.

He's still nursing which I like but don't like sometimes... I haven't decided when I'm going to stop nursing him, but we'll get there when we get there.

Pictures or it didn't happen:

                        Tycho helping daddy play video games.

          He looks a lot like his daddy here. He decided to shut me out of the bathroom. Little stinker was fighting sleep.

 He was watching the kids play while I was making dinner. Poor Tycho had to stay inside. 

I have the bouncer chair set up for another baby I watch, and Tycho has been really interested in playing with it. Greg thinks it's cute he wants to be a little baby again.

Sleepy Tycho. I love the way he sleeps. He likes to kick the blanket(s) off his legs and keep it around his middle. Silly kid.  

 

Grammar help: me or I?

I'm not proficient at being grammatically correct, but I do have one grammar tip that I learned in one of my FAVORITE classes at BYU (mcomm 320) that I'd like to share with you.

How do you know when to use 'me' or 'I' when you are including yourself in an activity such as in the sentence, 'Greg and I went to the store'?

The best way that has helped me is by just talking about myself instead of what I did with my companion. For instance, is the sentence grammatically correct when I say 'Me went to the store' or when I say 'I went to the store'?

(The difference between sounding like a caveman and sounding sophisticated and well-spoken is a thin line.)


I know I oversimplified, but I hope this helps.

10 months

I've been bad about keeping this blog updated. Sorry! But I'll share some cute pictures and joyful facts about a sweet boy to make up for this blunder.

I recently put away his activity mat and his exersaucer for good. That was hard to do. I have loved seeing him grow and change, but it's been so hard to realize he isn't my tiny baby any more.

This boy weighed 9.4 kg or 20 lbs, 6 oz at his doctor's appointment in late March. He has a big head; he's only in the 50% for weight, but 98% in head circumference. He's 75 cm tall. (So about time for a new carseat. We got this three-in-one type that looks like a miniature throne and costs an arm and a leg.)

This kid is pretty content. Although he doesn't necessarily like to be left alone, so now that he crawls, he crawls after me. So cute! He started crawling at 9 1/2 month. It was kind of weak sauce though with a bum scoot and a crawl combination, but now he's got crawling down. He has also been cruising. He can pull himself up well, and had been doing that for a couple of months and he likes following me around the kitchen now. 

The hard part about him crawling is when he crawls away midway through a diaper change. Fortunately, I had the foresight to put a blanket down so when he has a dirty bum, I don't have to worry about the carpet.

He's started saying "mama" and "dada" among his other key phrases like "aboo" or "ahgah". He's also started clicking his tongue a lot and laughing. His giggles have been music to my ears. We just laugh and laugh sometimes.

He has four teeth now, but he should have a couple more up on top shortly. 

He likes to play with books and turn the pages. He's been after my books lately, too. Although, we have to keep an eye on this paper eater...

He has soft little curls on the back of his head that I love. He's so cute!        

The things he'll eat! He sat right down on the playground and started eating wood bark. Onion peels, food he threw off his trayonto the floor, his daddy's shoe are thinges he put in his mouth.  So gross! You'd think we didn't feed him!

Anyway, here are pictures of my cutie pie. I love him so much.

           

Co-sleeping: the good, the bad, and the ugly

Yes, Tycho co-sleeps. This was never our intention. We got a bassinet and a crib, and he doesn't use either of them for sleeping. Sigh. I did want to, but long story short, I didn't know how to swaddle or the purpose, Tycho scared me by sleeping on his side, and I was paranoid even though his bassinet was right next to the bed. And I was going to transition sooner, but I was still so tired from multiple night feedings. Get out of bed? Ugh. I had to do that last night and it was the worst. I still nurse Tycho about two to three times a night (he's ten months old). He eats when he needs to.

But I just wanted to give some advice and share my experience with co-sleeping.  First of all, I would like to say that I followed certain rules for co-sleeping to reduce certain risks. I don't smoke or drink, so there's the high risks removed from co-sleeping. I also made sure Tycho was away from pillows, our bed didn't slouch where he and I slept, so okay there. He could kick off the sheet--the only blanket I really had close to him, so no issues.

The good: initially I could only do a cross-cradle position for nursing so I would get out of bed with Tycho to sit in the rocking chair. Let's just say, angels must have been present because I did fall asleep with Tycho on my lap a few times... so dangerous! I was eager to learn how to lay down and nurse him. So I did when he was about four months old. It took time, and we were proficient when he was five or six months old. Huzzah! Once we got that down, I could nurse in bed easy peasy. I loved it. Because before I would probably get out of bed like 4 times at least. Ick.
We both roll over and return back into a deeper slumber most of the time now.
Also, when he's sick, I can help Tycho much more when he's sleeping next to me. He tends to wake up more often when he's teething or sick, so I can usually just stay in bed and comfort him. I'm lazy? Or just desperate for sleep?

The bad:  have you ever slept in one or two positions? Your body aches so much. I would go to bed with Tycho, and take Greg's side of the bed so I could sleep on the other side of Tycho. Bliss guys. I also slept with a pillow in between my legs so my lower leg wouldn't get so much pressure and so I could nurse easier. But it was so hard! Not sleeping on my left side was the worst. Now Tycho is older and we have a king-sized bed, I sleep on my left side but not as much as I would like...
The other hard part is making sure Greg gets adequate sleep. Tycho sleeps like a baby, and he's noisy and climbs on Greg when he wakes up. When we had a queen-sized bed, one of us (me) was always on the edge of the bed, bit a larger bed has made it easier to sleep.

The ugly: spitting up or peeing in bed. Need I say more?

If I had to do this over again, I would probably co-sleep still. Or just put Tycho in the bassinet at his bed time and then bring him to bed later when he gets up. But having a baby and getting up at night is something that go together usually, right? Oh well. We're pretty happy now.          

Thoughts on baby-led weaning

I love doing baby-led weaning so much that I wanted to share some experiences and thoughts. Go read "The Baby-Led Weaning Cookbook" for additional help and information.

I always wanted to wait until my baby was six months old to start eating foods. I felt that this was the best thing for him to do since you don't need to start solids sooner. Although, it was hard to not try to get him to eat something because breastfeeding around the clock at 5 months does get a bit tiring! But I persevered because I felt like he wasn't ready.

Anyway, we initially started by letting him chew on carrot sticks or apple slices first since he was teething around that time anyway.  I don't think he really swallowed anything, but it gave him experience chewing. I think though the key is to give your baby something they can hold onto while eating. So slices of fruit and vegetables were easy to give him (although he now doesn't care for raw carrot sticks... they were so easy!)

(I then went back to traditional feeding techniques by giving him plain yogurt to help his gut gain good bacteria a few times. Something my Turkish neighbor did with her daughter which made sense to me. Although, I tried to get him to feed himself with the spoon for the most part.)

Gagging is normal, although scary, and much different than choking. Tycho never choked--he gagged. That was the hardest part about starting this process because he would gag at every meal. Tycho got the eating and chewing down within a couple of months. He eats well for the most part now. A baby's gag reflux is a lot closer to the front of the mouth so they can't swallow anything too large--helpful to know, but still disconcerting to hear a baby gag!       

Some first foods Tycho liked trying: 

Bananas: at first in a large piece (1/2 banana), and then it has been fun for him to pick up smaller slices. 

Potatoes/sweet potato. This kid is in love with potatoes. Must have relatives from  Idaho. ;) I cook the potatoes I stew or give it took him roasted usually. Loves it.

Cucumbers. I don't know what it is about cucumbers, but this kid loves them so much. Maybe I'm baffled because I didn't like them until I was older.  

Meatballs: a new shape and texture. So fun when dipped in tomato sauce! He was about seven months or more when I introduced meatballs.  

Cheese: I introduced this around nine months, but Tycho loves it. I give him little pieces of cheddar cheese or melted cheese on bread. But only a little bit because this kid is gassy!
Bread and pancakes. He likes these foods quite a bit, so I go through the little bit of work to make thee from scratch. Gives me peace of mind.  

Thoughts:  

Avocado was hard for Tycho since it's so squishy. Spreading it on toast or just mashing it so they can spread it all around later was easier than slices.

Tycho gets bored with eating the same things over and over again, so I try to switch it up. Eggs for breakfast one day, pancakes another. 

 Regular oatmeal is easy to make and cheaper than the baby stuff, too. I make oatmeal for Tycho and he likes trying to stick it in his mouth with his fingers or I just load up a spoon and Tycho attempts to put that in his mouth. I flavor the oatmeal with unsweetened applesauce with cinnamon (yum!), a bit of butter, and a pinch of salt. Sometimes we switch it up and add pureed pear to oatmeal. 

Solids for baby led weaning don't have to be solid per say. You can dip toast in applesauce, for instance, or even in a stew so the baby will get the flavor of stew without the mess of a liquid.

Rice is annoying. I find it every where after meals with rice, but it gives him some practice at picing up small things, so I give him some.  

I try to keep things healthy for Tycho. Although, one thing I wish we had delayed introducing is cheerios. My son loves cheerios.    

Anyway, pictures of baby being grown up, eating food.

okay... pretty much six months. I felt pressured and I thought I could compromise with something he really couldn't eat.

Six months old trying to eat yogurt!

We had meatballs and pasta for dinner. Happy boy giving smiles to daddy.

Pancake, I believe, with banana slices for breakfast.  

Apple, peas, pasta with chicken parmigiana. Good stuff.  

A few things about me

Initially, I wanted to share this at or around my birthday, but I kind of forgot and stopped blogging for a while. I got interested in reading instead.

I skip to the end of books quite often even though it drives Greg crazy. (I'm so glad I did that in the last book of the sword of truth series. Goodkind...you are just as wordy than Ayn Rand.) But as a fellow skipper said, you can focus on the journey once you know the end.

I wanted to be a soprano when I first joined choir. I was so disappointed in learning that I'm an alto.  Prima donna...yes, I know. Don't worry, I'm fine with my voice now and with being an alto.

I don't enjoy telling people where I'm from or telling them my family story 'cause it's too complicated and I like details. In short: divorced parents, military, lots of step-siblings, and I lived all over the U.S.

I love rolling down hills. I haven't done it in a while on account of pregnancy/taking care of a baby and not finding a decent hill without goose poop.

I don't know what to consider myself: night owl or early bird, but something in between fits me best, I believe. Okay I feel more accomplished when I can get stuff done in the morning.

I love lifting weights 'cause bench pressing makes you feel super powerful even when you are just bench pressing the bar. While not lifting weights, I enjoy walking and dancing--zumba.

I wanted to do choreography for a while. I blame N'Sync. Also, I am not the greatest coordinated dancer.

I've always wanted to learn how to weld. I think one of the things that made me most depressed about moving to North Carolina was learning that they didn't have a welding class at my new high school, and by the time I got to my third high school, I ended up taking classes that I was comfortable with except for AP-Stats which was the biggest mistake ever.

I loved wearing overalls all the time, and now I love wearing skirts all the time except in Canadian winters.

I know crocs are the ugliest shoes out there, but I love how comfortable they are.

I dislike the story "The Hunger Games" more "Twilight".  

If there is anything I'd like to change about myself it would be to not quit and/or lash out so readily when I get discouraged and frustrated with a project, etc. I think I've noticed that I just give up because I want to be perfect, and I think I need to be perfect immediately or else. I think my new goal is to be patient with myself.

I love organizing. I considered becoming a professional organizer until I saw the show Hoarders: buried alive. Some of house scared me too much. I think I'll just stick to organizing my house really well.

I have a love/hate relationship with video games. My problem falls under the desire to not look like a n00b next to my husband, who has been playing video games since he was about 4 years old.

Tycho at 7 months

Oh yeah... I have a blog... I've been busy with a baby and reading numrous and enjoying the holidays with my family.

Well, I'll just start by bragging about my awesome baby.  He's amazing. I worried and worried about going to California with him, but he was a champion traveler and a joy to be around. We were surprised the day after we arrived that he had teeth. Teething AND traveling?! No fussing...okay minor fussing. But who wouldn't get bored, cranky, and fussy on a four-hour flight after getting up at 4 a.m.?

  Happy baby with new teeth...I was trying to get a picture of his teeth that just popped in. Unfortunately, they just wanted to stay hidden. He just has two bottom teeth for now.

Anyway, about Tycho:

He wants to walk. Crawling doesn't interest him at much, but he can hold up his body while on hands and knees now.  So Greg and I walk him around. Our poor backs... This little guy started pulling himself up to standing position a few weeks ago. Of course he needs a bit of help getting there. Greg kept telling me he was pulling himself up, and I was getting frustrated because I hadn't witnessed this the first several times he did it. But he does it all the time now.

He doesn't like rolling over that much or being on his back any more. He acts like it's the worst thing ever to roll over even though he knows how to do it.

He loves food now. He started solids at six months,  but for the first month or so, he grimaced at everything he tasted. I laughed so many times at his surprised, disappointed face.  Now he's actually happy to be eating. We are doing the baby-led weaning approach to solids because feeding him pureed food is impossible. He is an independent little guy. He wants to hold everything himself. I'm okay with this. I figure he'll eat til he's full or bored, and I don't have to sit around playing airplane. So we've just focused mainly on fruits and vegetables. And meat.

He didn't like taking a bath in a new place which seemed strange. So for the first few times he took a bath at his grandma's house, he was upset. But after talking through it, he got used to taking baths again. That was the only struggle we really had with traveling. And then he didn't want to bathe at our house, but I've found that explaining his next activity and talking him through the process, he actually doesn't mind or isn't nervous/anxious.

He loves eating paper... I'm pretty sure it's his favorite thing to chew on. The last few times we have been to the doctor's office, he has tried sticking the paper that's on the exam table in his mouth. It rips too easily, guys. The day after Christmas, I found wrapping paper in his diaper even though I tried to keep that out of his mouth....

He's a friendly, happy baby. He doesn't like being alone for long. I feel like I have to say, "I'll be right back in a minute, Tycho!" all the time just so he'll stay calm because sometimes I need to grab something from downstairs, but I don't want to take Tycho with me. Climbing up and down stairs with a baby gets tiring.

He likes to play with whatever is in my hands. He'll take it away, too. For instance, I wanted to write in my journal while he played with his toys. So he wanted my pen and then my journal. That's how we play.

He likes giving kisses, although this doesn't happen as often any more. They are usually open mouth with his hands pulling at your hair kind of kisses. It's darling until his hands get caught in your hair.

He still falls asleep on his side. That used to worry me when he was a newborn, but not any more. He'll eventually roll over onto his back at night.

He's starting to fit in 9-month sized clothes quite nicely. I can't believe how big he is now! He's 19 lbs and like 27 inches tall.

He received his baby blessing on 6  December from his daddy. It was beautiful although I started laughing a little because he started getting upset which distracted Greg.  Apparently Tycho didn't like being bounced around. The weird part was when one of the stake presidency members joined in the circle, uninvited, and stood next to Greg. Anyway, his blessing was very special and I'm glad we had family around to be a part of it.

Alright. Pictures to prove how cute he is.

Had to take this off two minutes because he got poop on the back, but he liked super cute in it.

enjoying the sunshine in jammies

Playing with Christmas toys

Trying an orange.

I don't like this!

feeling much better because of medicine. See the teeth?

I really did try purees! But he likes trying to feed himself. He liked his red pepper and meatball at this meal. 

trying to walk with daddy

Well, that's it for now. Hopefully I'll do a better job keeping this blog updated.