Homemade Granola and breastfeeding

Okay this will mostly be about granola, but I do want to share why I make granola so often.
Oatmeal! Almonds! Two helpful foods for increasing breast milk supply. I look back on the last few months of my pregnancy, and now I understand my desire to have a bowl of oatmeal so often. Even as I went into labor I enjoyed a bowl of granola with milk. Yum.

What you will need:
2 cups of oatmeal
1/2 to 3/4 cup of sliced almonds
Dash of salt
1/4 cup of butter or coconut oil or a combination of both
1/4 cup honey
1 tsp of cinnamon
Optional:raisins, ctaisins, or other nuts or even seeds
(For the sake of time, I keep this simple.)

Combine all ingredients into a bowl, and mix well. Spread out evenly onto a pan. Bake at 200 degrees for twenty minutes, rotating half way through. Allow granola to sit at room temperature for an hour or so before consuming...or packing it away. You don't necessarily have to melt the butter before --let it melt in the oven.  Mixing it into the dry ingredients as best as you can will suffice. Should yield about 4 cups or so. Add it to yogurt or make a bowl of cereal. Or you can eat it plain.

12-week old baby

Hahaha... so originally I was going to write this post about Tycho when he was ten-weeks old. Hahaha life.

   I love my baby. Although, I recently realized that I would rather deal with dirty diapers then trying to calm him down all the time. Not that he's cranky all the time, but trying to persuade someone to be happy is HARD. Bad? I know. I just find it hard to keep putting out fires all the time. I've been reading in the Old Testament lately, and I've learned that even Moses had to delegate and receive help while interacting with the Israelites. God supports Moses, and gives him guidance in his approach to dealing with the Israelites. For instance, Aaron helps out as well as seventy elders. God also helps me and gives me guidance. I'm also positive that God doesn't want us to be alone in raising kids. So, we have family support. I'm pretty sure I'd go insane if I were single. Not that Tycho is super difficult, but I get tired or cranky because I essentially spend all of my time taking care of this little fellow. I need a little break here and there. I won't deny that the few moments I have for myself are lovely. Moses, I have found your patience, example of prayer, and delegation of duties to be reassuring in motherhood. Also, Daddy is amazing at putting out the fires, and "doing all the things".

Okay about Tycho.

   Okay, I find it frustrating when people ask if he sleeps through the night. Yes, he does. When I get him to bed (the last few week  forever days have been hard since he's had a cold and has been cranky at night) he sleeps all night. No crying, no fussing...just kidding. Although, sometimes, he gets upset because of gas. He eats every two to three hours. I'm not getting as much sleep like some moms who breastfeed because I can't stay semi-asleep while fedding Tycho and I don't breastfeed in bed because we aren't good at laying on our sides and eating. I usually sit in my glider rocker, and feed him. I go to bed at the same time as Tycho so I attempt to get adequate sleep, too (he usually sleeps for 10 hours or so at night).  

   Tycho loves his changing table-- he always has. He loves getting his diaper changed and getting dressed. He smiles so much on that table.
   I'm not sure if Tycho likes taking baths or not because he doesn't smile really, but I think that has to do with the time of day--too tired to smile in the evening. I'm pretty sure he tolerates it. He also pees every single time he takes a bath. Crazy kid.
   He loves a blanket. He doesn't have a favorite, but if you throw a blanket on him, he smiles, grabs a hold of that blanket,  and goes crazy kicking up a storm. (I need to get a video if this 'cause it's so stinkin' cute.)
   Tycho actually enjoys going out in his stroller. He usually falls asleep despite the fact that the stroller isn't a smooth ride. He doesn't mind the car seat.
   He started to wear 3-6 month sized clothes around 7 weeks of age. (He weighed about 13 pounds at the time, too.) Since Tycho was circumcised and then got a cold promptly, and we still begging for a family doctor, we weighed him using our neighbor's scale a week or so ago. He weighs more than 14 lbs. I was surprised he didn't weigh more, but having had a cold, I think that slowed things down? I still changed the same amount of diapers. He recently had a feeding frenxy/growth spurt, so he has gotten kind of chubby again which makes me happy.
   Tycho has different cries now which makes me happy because loud, piercing cry isn't on the menu all the time. He also talks and coos especially when he is lying down on his back. When I sing the song "the wheels on the bus" to calm him down (since that sometimes works), he will atempt to do a duet with me--also something that needs to be recorded. We sometimes call him Mr. Smiles-a-lot, Tiger, or Mr. Toots a lot...
   Tycho rarely spits up, but when he does, I'm never prepared. Instead he drools a lot. And starts making bubbles and foams at the mouth or sucks on his hands when he's hungry. He doesn't like a soother, and after a week of attempting to introduce it-- I really didn't want to introduce it anyway--I gave up. I'm glad I don't have to worry about them 'cause they are kind of gross in my opinion. And he looked ridiculous with a soother in his mouth. Some babies can pull it off, but not Tycho.
  
  Anyway, I think that's all I have to say. I will share some pictures, though.

matching socks! I know moms like to share making toe nail polish, but I have a son. I like this so much.

Tycho waking up daddy. 

had to document Tycho's super long nap...this hardly ever happens

Playing. He can grasp the objects now. I think he likes his mat. 

 
   




      

The Goals of a lesson or talk and what people prefer to not hear

I think that Latter-day Saints have wonderful opportunities to gain knowledge and wisdom through our callings.  I also love that I don't have to listen to one person's perspective on life all the time!  I mean, when we go to Church we literally gather and learn from each other and from the Holy Spirit.  I believe that is one blessing we have in the Church.

When you are preparing for a lesson or a talk, I hope you stop for a moment to think about what your goals are for this talk or lesson.  Because otherwise, I would think it kind of pointless to give a talk or lesson without an end goal for your audience.
When I am preparing for a talk on Sunday, some of the things I would like the audience to gain from my talk are (1) feeling/promoting of/from the Spirit, (2) improved relationship with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, (3) spiritually reenergized or motivation to keep pressing forward (that's one the reasons you go to church, right?), (4) opportunity to worship Christ (5) plus fulfill the promping of the Spirit to teach/preach as he has guided me. Now I believe some of these items overlap, but the point is that YOU as the speaker have goals for your talks and lessons.

I would also like to take a moment to add that some phrases, etc. detract from the talk or lesson. I generally hear these phrases in a talk, but they can heard in a lesson occasionally.

 1. "I looked up the definition of this word in the dictionary to begin with, and ___ means..."
First of all, we recognize that you went through materials to figure out what you wanted to say, so you don't need to state the fact you went through certain materials!  Second of all, think of your talk as an essay (because that's what your talk is).  Do you state, "Well, I went to the dictionary to gain the meaning of the word" in your papers?  No, you don't.  So, don't state your research in your talk or lesson.  We don't want to hear it unless it actually pertains to the talk itself.  If someone really wants to know the references you used then they will ask you later.

And perhaps the best way to approach definitions (if you want to include definitions) is to simply say: "Faith is..." or "The Oxford dictionary defines integrity as..."  But seriously, I think the majority of the people have an understanding of language used in the Church.  We don't need to define the word every single time it's used because we've heard lessons like this one before.

2. "I would like to list all of my shortcomings, things I need to repent of, etc...."

Talks/lessons aren't really the time for personal confessions.  However, if the personal story or confession pertains to the message of your talk, then go ahead and talk about them.  For instance, I once had a Y.W. teacher tell us girls a story from her troubled past, and it was a wonderful lesson because the story had a beginning, a middle, and an end or a resolution.  So unless listing your shortcomings follow the message of your talk or lesson please don't include them.

3. "I'm so nervous to be speaking in front of you"/"When the counselor cornered me for a talk..."

Do you ever hear one of the speakers at General Conference say this to the congregation?  No.  I'm sure they are nervous speaking to such a large crowd, but they don't state the fact!  I mean, the person is basically saying, "This is probably going to be an awful talk, and I'm sorry, but this is the last thing I want to do."  I feel like what people do when they say that is just give up, and I end up tuning out for a while because I don't want to listen to a train wreck.  (sorry!) I want to hear your talk! I mean, I did make it to sacrament meeting and I am sure it is wonderful and insightful, so please don't look so defeated up on the stand.  I want to be edified and lifted up.  I want to gain insight on how I can better myself.  Now, I am sure that speaking in front of others is difficult for some, and I totally get that (I know I am not the most eloquent in front of people), but I promise that the more often you practice speaking in front of others, the easier it gets.  I also recommend reciting your talk a few times before you actually give it in sacrament meeting or following these wonderful tips found here.

4. "I might cry, but please forgive me..."
I know I said talks above, but I often hear this in testimony meetings. Please...just cry.  I understand the warning is meant to be nice, but sometimes, (this is mean of me perhaps) I just want to look away or tune out because I know what is coming.  At the moment someone is saying this I feel like I am invading a personal and private moment, and I'm not sure what to do with myself.  (Maybe this is a fault of mine--that I am not connected with my inner emotions??) Just let it flow naturally like Elder Eyring does it because I'm already flustered with your warning.  I just want to hand you a tissue, and not look into your red eyes.  I also feel like by stating you are going to cry is another way of saying, "I am kind of uncomfortable crying in front of you, but I am going to do it anyways and make you equally as uncomfortable."  So please just let it flow (let it flow, let it flow).  

I hope these tips help, and that I am not too mean in attacking my fellow Church friends.  If you ever hear me do anything listed above, you have every right to laugh at me or something. I realize preparing for a talk or lesson can be difficult, but I am sure you and I have plenty to learn about.

Recipe: Pancakes

I love pancakes.  However, I married someone who doesn't like pancakes, waffles, or French toast...  Don't worry, he will eat crepes, though!  Since my husband doesn't like pancakes, I still make them for me. I will make the batter according to the recipe, and use it over a few days. Since this recipe has raw eggs, you don't want to keep it more than a week (the batter looks really yucky after a few days).

Ingredients:
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 1/2 cup oatmeal
2 cups of milk
3 eggs
2 tbsp baking powder
2 tbsp sugar or honey (I use sucanut)
a dash of cinnamon, optional
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 cup butter or coconut oil (or a combination of both) plus extra butter for cooking

You can soak the grains in soured milk (milk plus a little bit of lemon juice or apple cider vinegar) over night to help with phytic acid if you wish to or just make them the morning of.  Combine dry ingredients in a mixing bowl, and add in all "wet" ingredients.
Melt butter in frying pan. Add in 1/4 cup to 1/3 cup of batter to hot pan. Allow pancake to cook for a few minutes before flipping it. Cook on other side for a few minutes. Best eaten with lots of butter and real maple syrup. Or you could eat it them with applesauce and a few chopped almonds or even with banana slices and honey.

Do you have a favorite topping for your pancakes?

Conversion story part 1: Baptism

I've wanted to do a post on my conversion into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for a while for a couple of reasons.  The first reason is that a few of my (girl) friends have had opportunities to go on missions, and I've can't help but admire their courage and their faith.  As you'll find out later from my experience, sister missionaries are amazing, and I would not be where am I today without them.  The second reason I've wanted to do this post is for reflection on my conversion story in lightly of thr revent lether from Ms. Kelley. I'm not sure what it is, but I always end up reflecting on my membership after reading about her and her feelings about what the church should be.  Honestly, I look back at this time as a time when I learned a lot about myself and my relationship with Christ.

     I feel like a number of events/opportunities in my life have been carefully timed out, and I really believe that everything happens for a reason.  My conversion story started with the simple desire to be baptized.  I had the opportunity to witness a couple of baptisms at a couple of churches during the summer before I entered the fifth grade.  Watching those two people get baptized really made me wonder why I wasn't baptized or whether I was baptized as a baby, etc.  I also remember my step-sister and step-brother looking and sharing at a picture of themselves right after they had gotten baptized.  I really wanted to be like them partially because I looked up to them and partially because I felt it was right.  My dad and my step-mom weren't really religious, and we didn't attend church often as a family, but they had my siblings and me attend a local church youth activity on Wednesday nights.  I recognized that baptism is pretty important for the spiritual well-being just like I recognized that having Christ in my life is important as I was taught at this youth program.

    However, I didn't share this desire to be baptized with anyone at the time because I am not a very assertive person, and honestly I didn't think my dad and step-mom would understand or really care to do anything about it.  But fortunately, my mom moved closer to me later that summer and ended up staying for a while.  So, my sister and I would spend time with her on the weekends and we would end up going to church with her.  One Sunday, after a sacrament meeting in which a little girl was proclaimed as the newest member of the ward after having just been baptized, I got up the courage and I said, "Mom, I want to get baptized."  She laughed and said, "Well, you just can't get baptized; you have to talk with the missionaries."  So I said, "Okay.  Well, I want to see the missionaries then."

It was that easy.. . Actually asking for this was still hard.

So, we set up an appointment with the missionaries, and I'm sure I must have been the easiest person to teach because I was just so ready.  The missionaries that I saw were Sister "Po" and Sister "O".  Sister "O" was from Mongolia, and I can't remember her actual last name now, but she was really sweet and courageous because she was the only member of the church in her family.  Sister "Po" was from Idaho, and I really admired her as well.  Sure, I didn't know what I was getting into, but after praying about this Church and The Book of Mormon, I felt good about it.  Not only that, everything that the missionaries taught just clicked in my mind.  Learning about the Gospel was amazing because everything felt simple, yet the teachings are complete. I was really at peace.  I loved it. These sisters were wonderful, and we had amazing discussions, and I felt the love of Christ as they taught.

    I started taking discussions in late August or September, and I was baptized a couple of months later on 26 November 2000 on a cold Sunday evening.   Because I saw my mom every other weekend, I didn't go through discussions very quickly.  My baptism is special to me because I really wanted it.  I wanted to be 'saved' as some churches say, and I wanted to be a disciple of Jesus Christ. Afterwards, I didn't necessarily feel different, but I felt good. The only regret I have is that I didn't invite all of my family to my baptism because I was worried that my parents would just end up in an argument (not over my baptism, but a fight in general). My dad found out my sister and I had been baptized when we came home with wet hair. ("Are you trying to get sick?!")      

   I was confirmed a week later in sacrament meeting. Even though I learned about confirmation and the gift of the Holy Ghost from the sisters, I still didn't know exactly what was going on. So I remember looking around as I was being confirmed. I wish I could remember some of what was said.

 This is part one of my conversion story. I will continue the rest of this story in part 2.

6 weeks

Tycho looks like me here, but I think he resembles Greg.

Tummy time with daddy (this outfit hardly fits him now :( ).

father's day

Makin' cute faces at daddy

I wish I had a picture of Tycho going home from the hospital, but this is the cute outfit he wore. Now he actually fits it better.

Sleepy baby in a blanket my Nana made before she knew I was having a boy...but I love the color combination so there.

I can't believe I've been a mama for over a month now! Time flies so quickly. It truly feels like yesterday since we brought our son home. Sometimes I forget momentarily when I am alone and Greg is with Tycho in another room. "Oh yeah, I have a baby..." (If you notice typos, I apologize; typing on a tablet is hard, but it's easier to hold than a laptop when I have a sleeping baby in my lap. Also, blogger decided to put pictures in the wrong place, and I've been working on this post for too long to care about nitty gritty details like that especially while working on a blasted tablet. )
                                            About Tycho
So thus far Tycho has been eating like a champ, and weighed 11 lbs, 10 oz. when we took him into the midwive's office last week. I am quite pleased to hear that breastfeeding is going well. He is 24 inches, and his head measures 50 cm... if that means anything to you. All I know is Tycho has a nice bald line across the back of his head now.

He has a nice grip now--I now need to keep the hair pulled back so he won't grab unto it all the time. But I think it's cute when he grabs unto my shirt while eating.

Tycho has started to babble or coo when he's happy (usually after he poops/diaper change).

He enjoys tummy time and play time so much. The activity mat is a great toy. When he's hanging out on us and looking over our shoulder, he'll show off his neck muscles and push off our body with his strong arms.

Sometimes he'll start to chew on my shirt or shoulder when he wants to eat.  He's pretty cute.

Somehow Tycho manages to get lint stuck to his fingers, and stuff under his nails. Crazy kid. Although, I think he gets stuff under his nails when he grates his finger nails across the sheet at night. Creepy!

He gets hiccups a lot, and I think it's a sign from lack of good burping and waking up when he's still fatigued?? I don't know. I just know that grunting starts it.

Methinks he's starting to get cradle cap (ew).

He likes to walk (I mean hang out in our arms) around the play ground in our back yard as our nightly routine.

Tycho has also started to smile at us. Hooray! This also usually takes place around the time he poops...

Tycho loves to sleep on his side. It drives me crazy sometimes especially when I think of SIDS. He has started to sleep on his back more frequently, but he flails so much more and wakes easily, so we have had to learn to swaddle...yeah I didn't swaddle foe a while because it's so hot in our room in the summer plus I suck at swaddling/didn't know any better...I thought the sleep sack would be sufficient. But now it's kind of late for a good swaddle without flailing arms because he likes his hands free.

                                     Things I have learned:
  As a new mom, I kind of wish I had known things concerning naps and sleep, etc. I don't necessarily have a schedule for Tycho, but man, I wish I had placed some kind of regular, yet flexible routine at the beginning.  Not just for his sake, but for mine (so selfish,  I know). Now trying to find some kind of lifestyle I can manage is hard since we didn't establish something early on. Yay for fixing something late in the game!!! I already feel like a failure parent because I let Tycho fall asleep in my lap, but this way I know he will actually sleep. Now I just get so antsy to do things all the time, but since Tycho doesn't sleep well on his own for very long (less than an hour). it's hard and we're working on that.  Sigh.

Parenting has a steep learning curve and I find myself trying to keep up. So much mommy guilt already, too.
 
 Changing diapers wasn't so terrible initially. It was only until my milk came in that we had problems. I can't count how many times we had to change Tycho into dry clothes because he peed all over. All I have to say is now I've learned to make sure the penis is pointed down! And to untuck the diaper leg holes, and that certain brands are better than others. (I didn't realize that diapers were not supposed to allow poop to constantly get through the leg holes, but now I know better, and it was seriously driving me crazy...silly sleep-deprived me I just assumed this would be the life from now on.)

 Some people enjoy their early morning run; others, coffee, but Tycho likes his early morning poop. Tmi? Yes... it means that I have to really wake up. I guess his smiles are worth the 5 or 6 a.m. wake call...

I can make a guess as to what time it is at night and early mornings on clear days based in the sun's location now...

Babies are noisy sleepers! Seriously I understand why some would keep baby in their own room at night even at the beginning...

I love hearing Greg talking to Tycho especially when I'm in another room. His voice is so soothing and sweet. Greg is a good daddy. And he is so patient with Tycho even during Tycho's crying spells (I'm still learning patience and long-suffering).

I didn't realize babies aren't born with eye lashes. Weird, eh?

Breastfeeding makes you hungty. I often find myself eating or snacking when Tycho eats.

Two days old and getting ready for his first bath since the hospital didn't feel it was necessary to get blood and gunk out of his hair.

so relaxed, I think...I think he just tolerates a bath

Anyway, that's what going on with us. We love our sweet, happy baby. 

Birth story: part 2

    The first part of my birth story was about the week waiting on going going into labor as well as my early labor experience. The second part is about my labor on Saturday, delivery of Ty, and recovery.

     So after sleeping for an hour and a half after receiving the epidural, I woke up and ended up talking with the nurse who was monitoring me for most of the morning. I mean, it's kind of difficult to sleep when people are checking up on you quite a bit, when you are still trembling like crazy (thanks epidural for the help?), and when you become paranoid about your baby's condition after they find that his heart rate dropped momentary and you are placed on oxygen. Fortunately, his heart rate dropped just the one time.

   Contrary to what I've heard about eating while in a medicated labor, I did get to eat a granola bar at six a.m. even though I was like 7 cm dilated.  It was manna from heaven although I needed and wanted-- to brush my teeth later. Does/did anyone else think about brushing their teeth while in labor?

   At 7 a.m., the nurse that monitored me all night left, and another came to replace her. I really liked the new nurse because she was so personable,  and I feel so fortunate she was there for this part of labor.
   About the time nurses switched out, things with my labor also changed. I was 7-8 cm dilated and I felt the urge to push because of the amount of pressure on my rectum. It turns out the epidural wasn't enough for the job, so I was given another numbing medication that also kind of wore off because I ended up needing to breath and do horse lips through contractions again so I would relax and wouldn't start pushing too soon.  Fortunately, I didn't need to wait long until I was fully dilated. About nine, the nurse called my midwife, and started to set things up for the delivery. She also told Greg and my mother-in-law to eat food because she wasn't going to stop and help them out if they fainted. Lucky them... I was hungry, too.

   I only pushed for half an hour; Ty was born at 9:58 a.m. I may have been called a champion pusher afterwards by the doctor, midwife, and nurses, but I still had to comment that pushing hurt and ask why my vagina hurt so badly several times. I mean, I did end up with a two-degree tear...  I thought the pain would be pretty much over with when I delivered Ty, but man, receiving stitches was no walk in the park.

  Ty came out perfectly healthy--scored a 9/9 on the Apgar test. Greg was surprised by the doctor being so "rough" with him as he was delivered. I didn't notice; I remember being so overjoyed to have him on my chest and in my arms even though he was covered in a blood.  Initially, we thought his hair was dark brown because of all the blood stuck to it, but it turns out it's a lovely light brown. He obviously gets his hair color from me, but the rest of features are still undetermined except his toes; he definitely has daddy's toes (my toes are short little sausages).

Here is my cutie being weighed.  He loves lying on his side.

I had to put him down so I could sleep. 

  Greg and I hadn't even decided on a name at the time Ty was born. It was only after Ty was wiped down, weighed (8 lbs, 15 oz), measured (21 inches), and Greg got real food to eat that we discussed names.
  Throughout this pregnancy, I couldn't come up with any other names for this little guy besides Luke and Tycho. Greg on the other hand would tease about Tycho's name. "How about Chewbacca Tyrone? CTR (Chicks think Richins or choose the right) is a great name." And since we were watching the NBA playoffs, he got plenty of ideas for unusual names... When Greg told me his idea for Tycho's full name (which I won't disclose here), I was pleased and readily agreed. Before we knew Tycho was for sure a boy, I felt impressed that Tycho was his name, and I'm glad that Greg stuck it out with this name idea even when I wasn't always sure. However, I was a bit worried that the full name we came up with a long time ago was too unusual. At one point, I told Greg that we needed to come up with a normal name along with his unusual name. So that's how I came up with Luke which Greg doesn't like.
Anyway,  the funny part is that I sometimes think of Tycho as Tycho Tyrone... thanks Greg.

  Recovery at the hospital was hard. The bed was crazy uncomfortable-- who designs a bed where the end of it angles down?!I felt like I was sliding down that bed all day.   It hurt to lie there after I delivered Tycho because he adjusted my the placement of my tailbone in delivery (ouch). I LOATHED the IV in my arm, and I just wanted to get it out right away, but the rule was I had to have it in for six hours after delivery. Those were the longest six hours of my life. I was physically exhausted, and I wanted my own bed and comforts of home. We brought the Lego movie with us to watch, and we did watch, but I was so tired I fell asleep.  When the nurses came to help me go to the bathroom around 4 p, m., I ended up sitting on the floor in the bathroom very dizzy and light headed because I was so fatigued.
 
   Unfortunately, this meant I had to be hooked up to stupid IV longer and that we couldn't leave the hospital sooner. I was told I needed to sleep, so Greg and I did until Ty started crying and the IV monitor started beeping and both woke us up. Another nurse, who I didn't really like, came to help me out with nursing. Because I whimpered as she made Ty cry even more she thought I had anxiety, but really I just wanted her to leave him alone, but felt like I had no power to say that. (I'm pretty sure she was the reason we ended up staying much longer.) After we were woken up, Greg decided to take the opportunity to watch the Champions League final. And to top off the terrible recovery process at the hospiral, the staff brought me dinner, left it on the counter where I couldn't reach, and then took it away before I had a chance to eat it. I was in the middle of nursing and then finally proceeded to get dressed with the help of nurses. When was I supposed to eat?! So after we finished off all of the snacks we brought in the hospital bag, I decided to raid their fridge for food they have for patients, and shared my findings with Greg even though he technically wasn't supposed to have any food.
Punks.

Greg had to do skin-to-skin to raise Tycho's temperature and heart rate while I was finally putting real clothes on. I'm sad that I didn't get a picture with Tycho at the hospital, but I looked incredibly wiped out... So imagine me with really pale skin--like I lost blood, lots of sleep, and 20 pounds . 

  I guess the final highlight from the hospital was getting Ty dressed to get ready to go. I put a little shirt on him, and I was about to get some pants on when I noticed his diaper needed to be changed (Greg would like to point out that he changed the first diaper). Ty had a lovely poopy diaper for me, so as I'm about to clean him up, more poop just keeps spewing out causing a lovely mess and a first change of outfits--I don't know how he got poop on his shirt, but it happened. A nice poop the first day was a great sign that we didn't have to worry about jaundice, right?

  So about 8 p.m., we finally left the hospital, and I rejoiced that I could sleep in my bed, and I raided my fridge for pizza Greg and Sue bought the day before ready to experience a long night of trying to breastfeed Ty. (Haha.. Greg was cute, and we were super naive that night; "So do you need to set an alarm so you can feed him?" I did set an alarm, but obviously I didn't need it.) Learning to breastfeed took a few long, difficult days before we mastered it, but Ty eats like a champ now. He weighed 9 lbs, 4 oz ten days after he was born. Huzzah! And now I need him to learn to sleep like a champ-- like sleep the hours a newborn apparently needs to sleep--not necessarily though the night.

  Anyway, that was my birth story. Having a unnatural birth wasn't my plan, but it wasn't the worst thing in the world. I have a healthy baby boy, and I have recovered well from labor. All I think I need/want is eight hours of uninterrupted sleep, but for now, I'll enjoy the late night feedings and cuddles with my baby boy.

Birth Story: part 1

Week of waiting

   I love hearing birth stories, so I thought I'd share mine.  The birth of my baby didn't go as planned, but I still think it was a good experience of labor and birth.  Most importantly, I'm just happy to have a healthy baby, and that we're both doing well.  I'm splitting up the story because I like details and the story is lengthy-- like my almost 17-hour long labor and delivery.

  The week leading up to Ty's birth was very emotional for me; first of all, I was saddened by the loss of my grandfather who died on June 1.  We had learned he had stomach cancer shortly after I found out that I was pregnant, and my grandpa tried to fight it this entire time to stay alive to meet his first great-grandson.  Unfortunately, he didn't meet him here on earth or see pictures of him after he was born, but I do feel fortunate that I was able to get another ultrasound picture of Ty when I was 39 weeks along to send to my grandfather.   But I like to think that they did meet in that small window of time.

  The other reason I was so emotional the week leading up to the birth of Ty is because I was SO bummed (super grouchy and anxious pregnant lady) that I wasn't going into labor spontaneously and within the necessary time frame that midwives and doctors see best.  I walked like crazy every day to help me prepare for this baby and all that jazz just to try to get things going.  I really wanted to have a natural childbirth experience.  Friends of mine suggested that I talk to the baby to help persuade him to come out.  One of them also suggested that this baby was like his dad and that he was just chillin' in the womb.  Ha!  I think that sounds like Greg.  But then again, both of Ty's parents were two weeks overdue...

  On Wednesday, June 3, I had an ultrasound to make sure the baby was doing well.  And I can't tell you how frustrating it was to do this ultrasound because I really wanted to have the baby in my arms at this point.  Everything looked well, and baby was still healthy.  My midwife called later that day to make a plan.  We'd go into triage on Friday, June 5, to have a non-stress done and plan for induction for June 6.  Again, I hoped for a natural childbirth experience.

   On Friday morning, I hung out in triage after a very restless night. I was tired, and triage was so boring: two hours hooked up to monitors in a scary hospital room (so many scars on the wall and such).  I really wish I had brought a book with me or took a nap (seriously, the one time I don't bring a book with me?!). The plus side of this experience is that we learned that Ty was still doing well in the womb--just chillin' out.  We decided to use Cervidil-- a cervix ripening tampon--when we learned that I was only dilated to 1 cm at the top of the cervix.  So off I went home feeling crampy--thanks to Cervidil--, grouchy, and anxious.  Greg took a nap and I tried to relax and distract myself in the basement with The Three Musketeers.  I was just frustrated with my body because it wasn't doing what it should be doing.  At one point, I decided that I needed to get out of the house, so I went on a walk with my neighbor to the library to return a book.

  I experienced unpleasant cramps that whole afternoon, and by the time I went walking I had had a few contractions that I needed to stop for on my walk.  When I got home, I noticed things changed quickly.  Apparently, Cervidil can also help one go into labor.  So as I'm messaging family members on Facebook, "If I don't go into labor tonight, I'm going to be induced sometime tomorrow,"  I was having contractions that I need to breath through about every five minutes, and I started to get uncomfortable.  I'm not sure at what point I decided to curl up in a ball in bed, but soon after I went to bed Greg had to ask me, "Do we need to call the midwife now?" After we spoke to the  midwife (and I enjoyed a lovely contraction while speaking with her), Greg gave me a blessing of comfort, and we headed out the door.

   Around 8 p.m. or about three hours after I went into active labor, we went to the hospital to be reassessed in triage.  I don't think my body does well with pain because I have never trembled so much before in my life.  My arms were shaking so badly that I felt like I had Tourette syndrome (my arms shook throughout my entire labor which was really annoying quite frankly).  As we walked up to the hospital, another woman in labor was approaching with her husband.  I felt so embarrassed because my moans of pain were quite loud while she was still able to just breath deeply through her contractions.  Those hypnobabies techniques that I sporadically practiced just went out the window...  
  So once we learned I was dilated to 4 cm, we waited for my midwife in the family waiting area and tried to watch The Big Bang Theory. After we waited for her to arrive, we then had to wait for a room. I was so ready to have privacy to go through labor especially since I was noisy in going through pressure waves. Around 11:00 p.m., my midwife broke my waters which alleviated some pressure during contractions. Shortly after that, I was hooked up to an IV and started on oxytocin since my contractions still weren't strong enough. I never thought an IV could cause that much pain, but it did. The nurse had to make her second attempt at inserting the IV into my hand. Apparently the IV insertion caused A LOT of bleeding, and Greg intentionally covered my eyes so I wouldn't faint or whatever. He even got a picture...

My midwife placing my hospital ID band on me.  Unfortunately, since I had to be induced and subsequently had a transfer of care, she couldn't deliver my baby.

The IV from hell. You can't see any blood, but I went home with dried blood on parts of my hand.

 At this point, I was thoroughly exhausted, and being tethered to a pole didn't help me out with the whole natural labor idea. I wanted to take a bath, but I was tired and so were my companions. I tried to sleep in between contractions, but that was difficult. I thought if the baby was born soon, I could manage, but not having adequate sleep to push the baby out was a concern. So around 1 a.m., I took the plunge and got an epidural.  The anesthesiologist had to play "bad cop" with me. He asked if I wanted to go through with the epidural and I said "I guess." "It's a yes or no question, Suzannah." I swallowed my pride and got the epidural. I ended up getting 1 1/2 hrs of sleep while my mother-in-law and husband slept most of the night which made me super jealous (snoring through the whole night, guys!).
    So I did get to experience labor for like seven hours without medication--although I'm pretty sure Cervidil made things a bit more intense for me sooner than expected... As my midwife said to me, "You have to play the cards you are dealt, and sometimes you get a crappy hand." Well, trembling like crazy and hooked up to Oxytocin at 10 days late in my pregnancy, I think I played my best.  Ya know, whatever happens, happens.  

Part two of this story will highlight the rest of my labor and delivery as well as my recovery.

 

41 weeks

The inquires are getting a little old now and it makes me feel like there is something wrong with me; yes, I'm still pregnant and I'll be 41 weeks pregnant tomorrow.  I don't want to call anybody any more because I'm tired of inquires.

The sympathy "ah you'll be done any time soon" and "first babies are generally late" is getting super annoying.

If I haven't mentioned anything to you about having a baby it's because I haven't had a baby yet.  Don't worry; I'll say something soon to those who want to know so badly via phone, email, or facebook.

Please just leave me alone now.

Thanks,

The on-the-verge-of-tears pregnant lady

39 Weeks

   This last weekend I had my baby shower!  I had a lovely group of friends who supported me, and attended my "Little Boy Blue" themed shower.  The party was darling.  My wonderful host took some pictures of me (at 38 weeks pregnant) after the shower, too. Here are a few photos:

Oh man, I feel so heavy in front sometimes!  I don't feel like I have enough space to contain my baby boy!  

I don't feel that my belly is THAT big until I look at this picture.  Change of perspective! 

I was reading a journal entry from when I was twenty weeks pregnant, and I thought it was funny that I wrote that I sometimes feel pregnant, but I don't always feel pregnant... Well, at 39 weeks, I definitely feel pregnant.

     I had written on the topic of my being overwhelmed with the idea of becoming a parent on Facebook several days ago, and I deleted that post soon after because I didn't purposely seek out confirmation that I would be a good parent, which was nice and very supportive, but rather, I just wanted my feelings to be understood/heard (ya know, all that teenage stuff we never grow out of).  I wanted to relate to others, not get a pat on the back so to speak. Becoming a parent is a huge step in life, and it feels overwhelming sometimes to make that change and have that change within a moment.  I guess this change I could best relate it to is the day I got married.  

   I had an idea of what I was getting into when I got married-- share my life with someone I loved, but I didn't know how much it would change me.  I didn't know how hard it would be to bare my soul to someone, but how relieving it would feel to do so especially to someone who feels the same way about me that I do about him.  I didn't know that I could be so frustrated with my husband at one minute, but then have the deepest feelings of love towards him the next minute.  I didn't know how good it would feel to be comfortable in silence with someone else.  I feel so blessed to have had these last five--almost six years--of marriage to learn and grow with Greg.  I can't imagine "growing up" with anyone else.  And I am glad for the chance to really get acquainted with myself and with Greg even though waiting to become a mother was difficult for me.

   I know motherhood is a new way to really learn about yourself, and will give you more opportunity to grow.  I just don't know how I will grow or react to new situations, and I guess that is the scary part.  But having the opportunity to watch and learn from so many wonderful mothers out there gives me hope.  I find myself excited to see myself grow and stretch into a *hopefully* better person, and I find myself ready to watch and learn how my husband grows, too.            

   So anyway, I'm sorry for the confusion at my writing the other day, and again, I truly do appreciate your support and love... I just felt slightly embarrassed by all of the attention.  

  

  Also, I wanted to include a picture of Greg from five years ago exactly.  Here he is playing Star Craft in a labor and delivery room while our good friend was in the early stages of active labor...  You gotta show your support the best way you can, right??  And Greg was kind enough to play some songs by Jack Johnson on his laptop for our friend while he was playing games with the father-to-be... I'm sure Greg will be very supportive of me while I'm in labor. 

  

38 Weeks

Huzzah!  I'm full-term now.  What a relief that I've been able to make it this far.

  I feel like my body has physically changed so much more the past couple of weeks which makes me so grateful that I have started maternity leave.  My belly is so much bigger now; I mean, I look down and all I see is my belly.  I've been sleeping well even though I now go to the bathroom 2- 3 times a night, and I am finding it more difficult to get comfortable because my pubic bone hurts so much after lying on either of my sides for a while.  I've never been a fan of sleeping on my tummy, but I just want to sleep in a different, comfortable position, and I feel so jealous that Greg can do it with ease.

  My questions of late are: when did I start drooling in my sleep and how do/did women lie on their back for several hours while they are/were in labor?!  I don't drool all the time or anything, but I've woken up occasionally with my pillow wet with drool...it feels embarrassing, but then I'm happy to know that I slept so well.  (And I'm not trying to be rude about the second question, but just from my experience of pregnancy lying on my back doesn't feel great for long.  'Course most positions don't feel great for very long...)

  Cravings: Cashew clusters from Costco, grilled cheese, watermelon, and A&W cheeseburgers.  So I guess the craving trend has pretty much been protein and fruit.  I had told a friend of mine that I really wanted some cashew clusters, and she was such a dear that she got some for me a couple of weeks ago!  I feel so loved!  The other day I had a severe headache, and all I wanted to eat was food from A&W because it sounded so good at 5 a.m. and I felt so much better the last time I had a migraine.  The last time I had a migraine, I got so hungry at one point that I asked Greg to make lunch, and he got us burgers and fries from A&W that were manna from heaven (and fortunately I felt a billion times better at this point that I didn't throw them up).

   Mothers' day this year was such a tease.  I kind of hated it.  I wasn't trying to think about myself, but I couldn't help but do so especially since I couldn't get in touch with certain people on mothers' day.  Here am I a couple of weeks away from my due date, and I don't have a baby to hold in my arms.  It just made me frustrated and more anxious to meet this little guy.    

  Lately, I've just started to prepare for this little guy a bit more.  I have my hospital bag half-way packed, I'm working on a couple of projects, I'm reading as much as I can (1/3 of the way through The Three Musketeers), and I'm attempting to keep the house clean/organized.  The other thing I want to do is make freezer meals or at least cook a bunch of meats, prep beans, etc. for meals after the baby arrives.  I just need the motivation to do it...   
 
 

Chores and personal progress

   Doing personal progress as a leader is such a different experience than doing personal progress as a youth.  As a leader, you generally have a lot of life experience at this point, and you have already done things that personal progress helps you to do like improve talents and such.  If you have been a member for most of your life, you likely have already read The Book of Mormon or received a patriarchal blessing.  I didn't realize that personal progress has many goals of giving young women some life skills like learning how to budget, prepare meals, etc.  But even as an adult, I know that I have opportunities to improve my skill set with personal progress as a motivator.  So my value project for choice and accountability is to learn how to manage my household better.  At the end of each value project, the program asks you to record your thoughts on the experience as a whole, so I thought I'd share my experience here, since blogging or writing is another talent I would like to improve (killing two birds with one stone).    

   I know that managing a household is an umbrella of responsibilities, but I've been specifically working on regularly cleaning my house and for a way to make my life easier.  After dealing with morning sickness and fatigue for a few months, I realized that I had a difficult time regularly cleaning my house because of the way I cleaned it wasn't very efficient since I would try to fit all of the cleaning within a couple of days every couple weeks or so, but since I no longer have the energy to do that being pregnant and having a larger home to clean, I knew that I needed to change my routine.
    So I looked for ways to simplify the chores around the house, and I found that--believe it or not--that a chore chart was the best solution.  I guess each person has their own approach to doing the chores around their house because I found a number of ideas on cleaning house regularly.  But I decided after looking through some of the chore charts that my approach was to fit certain chores within a week, and not a particular day.  Since daily schedules can sometimes be hectic within themselves, I thought it would be best to manage my time weekly based off of my weekly schedule.   So I would look at my schedule for the week, and then fill in which chores I'd do on certain days.  Since I have been in my third trimester of pregnancy, splitting up all the chores over the week has rather than doing them all on one day in the week (which can be done if necessary) has been so helpful to completing them.  

   Chore Chart:

Daily:

Dishes

Clean up kitchen counters

Clear Clutter

2-3 times a week:

One load of laundry

Sweep floors

Recycling

Odd weeks of the month:

Clean bathrooms, wash bedding/towels, wipe down windows

Even weeks of the month:

Clean the floors (vacuum, sweep/mop), dust

Once a month:

Wipe down furniture and cabinets—Week 1

Microwave and fridge—Week 2

Wipe down walls, doors, and baseboards—Week 3

Clean rugs and upholstery—Week 4

    I implemented this chart mid-February, and I have to say that I haven't been as faithful to this chart as I thought I would be, but I have been SO much better about regularly cleaning certain areas of my house like the bathrooms or floors and I'll find myself saying, "Well, I have some time, so I'll clean microwave today or I'll dust this part of the house that noticed that needs it."  I definitely feel more accomplished in this part of managing my household especially since I know the last time I cleaned a certain area of my house!  (At some point, I hope to be so good about cleaning up, that I'll have a clean kitchen at the end of the night including counters being wiped down and dishes washed, but we'll get there some day...)

  

  I know that cleaning house regularly sounds like a silly accomplishment, but I love feeling more organized and just able to relax a bit more since sometimes clutter can make me antsy or unable to focus.  I also love that I am following the Lord's counsel.  I know the Lord is speaking specifically about a temple in the following scripture, but in some respects, we can model our homes after the temple:  

  "Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God (Doctrine and Covenants 88:119)."

  I like to think that I am trying to make myself a house of order (which includes a clean house) so that I can devote myself--and not feel stressed-- to having a house of learning, for instance.  I also have tried to change my attitude towards cleaning so that instead of saying, "I need to get this done," I'll try to say, "I'd like to do this, so that I can focus on doing this project."    

   We'll see how this chore chart works after I have a baby!  This chore chart gives me some hope that I can learn how to split up my duties around the house so much better now for the future.  I recognize that cleaning isn't at the top of our priorities all the time, but I recognize that I can always adjust my approach to managing my house.         

  

Week 35

  I love that Greg and I are have a baby in the spring!  It feels kind of perfect to be in harmony with nature.

  I think I am pretty much ready to have this baby.  Okay, I'm just ready to be done being pregnant now.  I am excited to meet this boy, and I'm almost at a point where I just don't want to experience any more symptoms of pregnancy.  Sure, I'll take them in stride, but I just want my body to be normal again.  The one thing I have enjoyed throughout this pregnancy is feeling the baby move.  That has to be the best part about being pregnant.  But even then I hate that panicky feeling that I sometimes get when I haven't felt the baby move in a while--which, fortunately, doesn't happen very often.  Sometimes I'll be around Greg when I tell the baby he needs to move for me, and Greg will tease and say, "Your mom always wakes me up, too."  And when the baby pokes back at me really hard, Greg will say that I "deserve" it because I keep 'poking' and rubbing at the baby.  (Greg: "How would you like someone to rub your face all the time?" Proceeds to rub my face.  "Do you like it?" "I mostly rub his backside and his bum since those are the parts that are most accessible since he's head down!")  But it's definitely the worst when I'm alone attempting to feel the baby move, and I am trying to recall the last time I felt the baby move.

  Cravings: I'm not sure.  Cheese?  Peanut butter?  Bananas? All I have wanted is to eat things that I haven't been eating regularly lately, so I've been trying to switch up our menu a bit by incorporating new recipes into our menu.  Greg didn't enjoy tuna casserole as much as I did which has bummed me out.  (But it'll be a recipe I'll keep around for when he goes to conferences, etc.)  I got so tired of pancakes for breakfast that I started eating oatmeal.  Guys...oatmeal...at least I found a decent recipe here which I did change up a bit.  I attempted to make meatball subs on homemade Artisan bread which was good over all, but they turned out like Sloppy Joe's because everything kept falling out!  Kudos to sandwich artists out there.

  We are still stuck on names at this point.  I think we will be those parents who send in the baby's name a few weeks after they are born.  Picking out names when I was 14 years old was so much easier; I mean I came up with like 8 names that I liked--not that I necessarily wanted 8 kids!  Of course, they were either classic, old-fashioned names like Francis or Eleanor or they were non-English names like Nikolai or Natasha. (I had just read War and Peace and Anna Karenina, and my mom had just learned we had Russian ancestors while doing genealogy. OK?)  As a teenager, I loved gleaning from other cultures (and I still love that idea).
   Greg and I had a couple of names in mind, and once we found out the gender of the baby, I told Greg what I thought his name should be, and Greg was on board with my idea.  However, not everyone in our family has the same opinion towards this name which has stressed me out.  I know I can't please everyone, so I just decided names are something we're keeping between ourselves from now on until the paperwork is filled out.  I know that whatever name we end up choosing will be because we, the parents-to-be, like the name and this is our child.  For now Lucky, Chewbacca, and Lehi are the names we are sharing.
 ; )

  On a happier note, the baby's room is coming together slowly.  I kept the same paper decorations I originally had in there because I love how the colors brighten the room.  I love this blue-green chair we found at a garage sale last summer.  The dresser with the blue drawers also fits this room so well!

I just stuffed pretty much everything in the closet!  So two bins full of clothes that don't fit in the dresser, blankets/sleepers, stroller, car seat, bathtub, play mat, and baby carrier.

So many toys!  I don't have bins for them yet, so I just left them on the bouncer chair.  (You can see Greg's red 20-sided die that he had hanging in a rear-view mirror has been demoted to baby toy. Haha! We're raising a nerd...) 

Last of all, a picture of my belly.  I never feel really pregnant until I see the side view of myself in the mirror...     

Hopefully only five more weeks to go! 

Rant: proper terminology

 I find myself frustrated that women don't use the proper terms for their own genitalia.  Va-jay-jay??  Come on.

 The other day, I was reading an article about the five milestones in pregnancy that women don't often speak of.  One of the milestones is the point where you can no longer see your crotch or as the author of the article called it: the 'va-jay-jay'.  I have also noticed lately women using this term or similar terms in articles or blog posts quite a bit, and it bothers me.  First of all, what's wrong with using proper terminology and actually naming your body parts correctly?  Are women that uncomfortable with their bodies that they can't use proper terminology?  Second of all, the external female genitalia is collectively known as the vulva, not the vagina (which I believe the va-jay-jay is the slang for).  I've never been able to see my vagina without using a mirror and even then I can't even see the entirety of it.

 I realize that male and female genitalia have numerous slang terms, but when pointing out our own body parts, shouldn't we use the correct term for it?  Shouldn't we be able to name that particular part correctly, too?



    

33 Weeks

   As much as I have enjoyed being pregnant, I am excited that I am roughly two months away from holding my baby boy in my arms.

  I actually have enjoyed being pregnant.  The pregnancy experience is new to me, of course, and I might discuss the changes to my body like overheating (Greg is not allowed to touch the thermostat any more or close the windows I've opened unless he wants me to yell at him), occasional back pain, how my shirt and non-maternity pants (i.e. sweatpants and pajama pants) don't meet in the front unless I pull up my pants to my belly button, being unable to use my abdominal muscles, and not sleeping well (Hello pelvic bone and tail bone, y'all are my new frienemies as of late. And my middle-of-the-night trips to the bathroom have actually become a ritual.), but overall, I enjoy being pregnant.  These changes are to be expected, right? I will just take them in stride.    

  *As a side note, one thing I've never knew about pregnancy is that your belly button actually can become smaller.  I had heard that innies become outies, but I didn't make the connection that the space of the belly button decreases.  Anyway, I find the new, much smaller belly button size strange.

 **One thing I kept hearing is how the baby will become more active when you lie down.  This isn't necessarily true for me.  I have felt that this baby is more active when I get up and walk around.  For instance, while I was out shopping yesterday, I couldn't help but notice he wouldn't stop wiggling around for quite a while. 

  Cravings: All I want to eat right now is bananas, grapes, apples, strawberries cut up into yogurt, cheese, and tuna casserole with broccoli.  I found an excellent tuna casserole recipe here, and I made it a couple of weeks ago.  I am making it again later this week even though Greg didn't love it as much as I did.  I'll eat pretty much anything, but the listed foods are what I really want right now.  I could go on and on about delicious foods...

  At a prenatal appointment a few weeks ago, I learned that baby boy is head done.  (Huzzah!!  My baby is awesome.)  The more I keep thinking about this, I wonder if he feels like he's doing a head stand or something??  I know that his body is hanging out on my right side, and that I will generally feels lots of kicking and more arm movements on my left side.

  I've recently started looking into Hypnobabies/hypnobirthing...  I know you think I'm a hippy now.  But to be fair, I am just trying to have good experiences with pregnancy and labor.  Is that too much to ask for??  In some ways the book HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method is a bit weird/strange to me, but I do like some of the relaxation and visualization techniques mentioned.  I know having positive thoughts versus doubts in any situation can make a difference, and I want to be prepared mentally and physically for birth. Hypnobirthing is just a tool to help me prepare mentally.  Ideally, I want to have a natural birth in a hospital and I am hoping for that, but really, I just want to be able to say "whatever happens, happens".  If circumstances change and I need to have help with labor, then I am all up for help.

   Anyway, I hope you enjoyed some of my insights to my pregnancy.
       

   

Understanding Jonah

    Lately, I've been thinking about the story of Jonah from the Old Testament mostly because I have really felt like Jonah lately with my new calling in my ward.  When I read the story of Jonah in the past, I always wondered why Jonah, who was called to be a prophet of God, would run away.  I mean, he's a prophet.  At that point in his relationship with God I'm sure he had a clearer vision of what he's supposed to be doing and what the Lord has in mind for His people.  Yet he still ran away.

   I have pondered on why he ran away.  The scriptures say that Jonah ran away because he felt the people of Nineveh were too wicked to be preached to, but I think this was an excuse for his real reason. I'm wondering if his reason was an internal one like maybe he was scared to preach since he was slow of speech like Moses or Enoch.  Or perhaps he was afraid that he would fail at converting people?

  Without going into too much detail due to privacy, I'll share my story to try to give another meaning to the story of Jonah.  I, too, have been called of God only I'm a leader in my ward.  And I, too, was asked to do something in my calling that I really did not want to do. However, I didn't blame the task for being so troublesome.  Actually, the thought of doing this particular thing caused a lot of physical and emotional problems; I couldn't sleep well, I'm pretty sure I had a migraine due to this, and I was just angry and frustrated because it takes a lot of courage and energy for me to go through with type of action.  Not only that, my prayers became strained because of my attitude.  My coordinating leader was baffled at my behavior and comments I made to them because I was being a stick in the mud about this whole situation and just an overall punk.  At one point, they asked what was going on, and I finally admitted that I struggle with doing this particular task.  

  We decided that since I already had a number of things on my plate, that I would essentially have the option of doing this particular task along side my coordinating leader.  I was pretty relieved and thrilled about that.  After this phone conversation, I ironically showered.  I felt so relieved and stinky after having sweated and cried out my problem, that I  needed to shower.  And while I was in the shower, I had a little conversation with God that went something like this (By the way, I don't normally pray in the shower, but kind of felt like doing this at the time because I didn't want to stop to pray when I needed desperately needed to shower):

  "Neener neener.  I win.  I have the option of doing this...See I don't really have to do this...Okay, I might do this, but I was told to focus on the other things on my plate...How about we'll see how things go over the next couple of days..."

  Once my attitude kind of changed and I became more receptive to the Spirit, I think Heavenly Father found the perfect opportunity to put me in my place.  As I was getting out of the shower, a thought came to mind, "You need to do this.  I will go before your face; I will be on your right hand and on your left hand."  It was the nicest rebuking I've ever received, and I started to cry once more because of the overwhelming feeling of love.  I felt incredibly empowered at this moment in my calling because I had that clear vision of what He needed.  I knew that I could do it, and I did do this task, and it actually wasn't that horrible at all.

  I guess my point is that rather than having to suffer through things on your own or trying to run away that it's so much easier to rely on God throughout the entire process instead.  I'm pretty sure that had I been more vocal about my problems with my coordinating leader and with God, that I wouldn't have had to sit in the belly of a whale for a couple of days.

  And my other thought from this experience is that I have more respect for leaders in the Church now who have difficult tasks to do ALL the time.      

 


 

28 weeks!

     I attended a prenatal class a couple of weeks ago where we discussed the signs and symptoms of each stage of labor and then viewed a video on labor.  I, along with a few other ladies, were just asking ourselves "Why did I get pregnant?!  I don't want to push a baby out of me!!" But I know that going through the labor will be so worth it. I can't tell you how excited I am to be in the third trimester of pregnancy now!  I can't wait to meet this little guy!

   Lately, I've been trying to accomplish a number of things before he comes, so I've been reading a ton and making plans to start and finish projects like this (I love the colors this lady uses in her projects!).  I have plans to finish Atlas Shrugged (I'm having second thoughts about this book), The Three Musketeers, and Jesus the Christ, and I am super grateful for a kindle and free books so I don't have to run to the library in this yucky weather!

   Physically, I have been doing well.  They say exercise is good for your body, but I have to say that exercise is doubly good for the pregnant body!  I have never had pain in tail bone area before pregnancy, but now I know that it is extremely unpleasant to not be comfortable standing, sitting, etc..  I have visited a chiropractor twice to get adjustments and advice on what to do specifically for this pain.  So I have to do a few specific stretches, and exercise regularly.  I have found that zumba videos on Youtube to be extremely helpful so I can exercise at home (my favorites are by Hot Z Team).  I also got a resistance band to help strengthen my muscles as well.

  I don't know what it is about food cravings, but people always ask what cravings I've had lately.  I can honestly say that I haven't had too many cravings that are extreme like pickles and ice cream.  I craved peanut butter for a while.  For instance, when strawberries were on sale for Valentine's day, I made several peanut butter and strawberry sliced sandwiches, and I loved chocolate banana peanut butter shakes.  I looked forward to eating salad the other day probably because I got some grape tomatoes and San Marino salad mix which I  don't buy very often.  That salad was incredibly satisfying.  I love fruit, and I also find my two pancakes with applesauce and eggs for breakfast delicious (I got so tired of toast because that's what I ate when I had morning sickness!).

  I am in love with watching my belly move.  I know it sounds weird, but I think seeing and feeling the baby move around inside of me is incredible (I know the movements will be more intense, but for now, I'll enjoy them).  When I went and saw my midwife last time, I asked how the baby was positioned.  Apparently, he's vertical (I'm not sure if he is bottom up or down), and I'm not sure how often that changes, but I thought he was lying horizontally because one night, I could feel him stretching against both sides of my abdomen.  It was one of the strangest feelings ever.  All I know is this little guy loves to move, and I am sure he will have lots of energy once he's born.

   I have a lot of gratitude for this baby.  I know that he is coming into our lives at a perfect time, and he is loved and welcomed by our family.  My grandfather isn't doing well as he has stomach cancer that doctors can't do much help him with.  Having this expected baby has really helped my grandparents by giving them something else to think about.  My Nana talks about the sewing projects she has worked on, and I think knowing my grandpa has a great-grandbaby on the way has helped him.  This is obviously really difficult for my family and me, but it does make life feel so much sweeter and precious.  This does make me appreciate families and the doctrine of eternal families taught by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  

  Anyway, I hope all is going well for you!